Finally—your divorce is over. You’re ready to lean forward into your new normal. Your new normal includes co-parenting your kids with your ex, which you’re probably not excited about. Still, you do have to make this work for your children’s sake. And, you might even have to see your ex in person at birthdays and graduations. We know you can make this work, and we’ve provided some tips to help you.
1. Try to put the feelings of divorce aside. We know this probably seems impossible. It’s completely normal to spend weeks, months, or years processing the emotional effects of divorce. We don’t suggest rushing this process, but it is important to not let the complicated feelings you have toward your ex cloud the co-parenting relationship. A useful way to approach co-parenting is by treating it as a business relationship; you may not like all of your coworkers, but you do have to get the job done.
2. Don’t make your children the messengers. If your children’s other parent needs to know something, communicate with them directly. Children might feel too much weight on their shoulders if they become responsible for relaying important messages between parents. Plus, there’s a good possibility of certain messages being distorted through multiple messengers.
3. Communicate through approved methods. At the beginning of the co-parenting relationship, you and your ex should agree on the best form of communication when discussing co-parenting matters. Different subjects might warrant unique methods. For instance, it might be best to keep messages about education over email. Texts and phone calls could be well-suited for co-parenting logistical issues. There are also plenty of apps that are designed to help co-parents stay on the same page.
4. Keep the focus on your kids. Again, the worst place to air your grievances about your ex is in front of the kids. No matter how much you dislike your ex, your children should have the right to forge their own relationships with their other parent. One of the worst things for kids of divorce is feeling like they have to side with one parent over the other.
5. Follow the parenting plan. There’s a reason you spent so much time creating a plan for co-parenting. The more contentious your divorce was, the more detailed your parenting plan probably is. If, or when, things get acrimonious between you and your ex, it’s great to have guidelines already in place.
Whether you’re thinking about divorce, putting together a parenting plan, or experiencing problems in your co-parenting relationship, a key to resolving your family law matter is hiring a quality family law attorney. Kimbrough Legal has experience dealing with all sorts of family law issues. Basically, we’ve seen it all.
Our firm is a judgment-free zone; our only focus is delivering results for you and your family. Ready to set up a consultation?
Kimbrough Legal, PLLC
4425 S MoPac Expy Ste. 105
Austin, TX 78735
Kimbrough Legal, PLLC
1777 NE Loop 410 Ste. 600
San Antonio, TX 78217